The use of affirmations has become an increasingly important part of self-help. Often, though, I've counseled people who became discouraged when, after repeating their affirmations faithfully for a long time, they felt that nothing had changed. Smply repeating affirmations often isn't enough. You are most likely to have your affirmations come true when:
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You are clear about the change you want
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You design an affirmation which is powerful, possible to achieve, and which feels right to you
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You create a plan of action to fulfill your dream
Here is the essence of the methods I use. 1. Free-associate. Let your mind wander and think about your life. What makes you most unhappy? What do you think is the most uncontrolled aspect of your life?
Complete this statement: "Life would be perfect, if only . .."
2. Meditate, asking yourself the same questions.
3. Daydream in writing, either by asking yourself the above questions, or by making a list of your complaints.
4. Pay attention to what bothers you for a week or so prior to writing out affirmations.
Composing Your Affirmations
The following checklist will help you to create more powerful affirmations.
1. Don't do negatives. Don't write, "I will no longer be 30 pounds overweight." If you repeat that your mind will focus on "30 pounds overweight" and hold that as the reality. Instead, write, "By (date, year) I weigh [the weight you want.].
2. Don't do future. It may look as if the above affirmation is set in the future, but its wording is in the present tense, not "I will be," but "I am." You are thus treating the future as if it is happening now, which helps to give you the power to create it now.
3. Is It Really You? Check your wording. Is it something you feel comfortable saying aloud? Even to yourself?
4. Is it What You Really Want?
5. Does It Feel Impossible? It shouldn't feel so easy that you think it'll happen next week; on the other, hand, it shouldn't feel so difficult that every time you think of it you feel like a failure. Give yourself something to reach for, but don't reach so far that you end up in traction.
First There's Saying, Then There's Doing
I used to think that saying an affirmation was enough, and it is true that the simple act of saying or thinking something which isn't part of your usual life has a vibration which can accelerate change. However, though I'm not going so far as to say that actions speak louder than words they do speak loudly, and the universe listens to them. So, for example, if you have the affirmation, "I appreciate my life," what do you do to demonstrate and make firm your intention? I decided that it wasn't enough to say that I appreciated my life. I decided to be consciously appreciative, to pay attention to a sunset or the sight of a deer, to deliberately savor each moment of joy and beauty, and to count my blessings. I felt that a daily regimen of gratitude would do no harm at all.
If you have an affirmation to change some specific part of your life it can be a very good idea to draw up a plan for the steps you will take to realize this change. If for example, you want a new career you will want to:
1. Decide what that career will be.
2. Have a conversation (often more than one) with the little voices which give you all the reasons why it's impossible.
3. Handle those little devils (steps 2 and 3 can occur more than once; you may find that as you accelerate your impetus to change that they have more and more to say to you).
4. Research the career: learn as much as you can about it; speak to people in the profession.
5. Figure out what needs to happen to make this possible. Do you need money, child care?
6. Figure out how to make it happen.
7. Make up a timetable. Commit to doing at least one thing a day.
If you are now thinking about everything you want to change, and deciding that it's impossible to do them all, take heart. The nice thing about you as a human being is that you're interactive. The minute you begin to make significant changes in one aspect of your life you find that other aspects begin to spontaneously change as well. I do not recommend that you simultaneously begin a career change, decide to look for a new relationship, and begin a major diet - but if you feel that this is your path, I don't think you should pay any attention to my non-recommendation.
Once you are in motion in your life, and buzzing with the energy of change you may be surprised to discover how attractive you are to other people, and you may feel so fulfilled by the positive action you're taking that food subsides in importance.
Also, if you're looking at your list of affirmations and saying, "No way," you can look them as a consecutive series of projects. When one is handled to your satisfaction go on to the next.
Roadside Stops
1. Review your goals often. Do you still want to be a marine biologist? Maybe you'd rather be a veterinarian or produce marine documentaries.
2. Ask yourself if the methods you've chosen to achieve your goals are working. If they're not try new methods.
3. Are you having fun? If you're not enjoying the journey find ways to do so.
4. Reward yourself for the achievement of subgoals within your goal.
Give Yourself a Break
Be committed to your goals. Be dedicated to them. Do whatever you need to do in order to achieve them - but do not beat yourself up if you don't - or don't entirely - achieve them.
You're still a wonderful person. Appreciate yourself exactly as you are right now. If you make that the number-one affirmation on your list you may find that all of the other ones will be that much easier to achieve.
Connie Barrett is the co-owner of Beyond the Rainbow. Visit http://www.rainbowcrystal.com to discover resources for well-being, including over 200 articles about personal/ spiritual growth, crystals, flower essences, power animals, and Reiki. She writes and publishes two monthly email newsletters and is currently completing a novel. For more information email elfin@ulster.net . |
